Assalamualaikum and hi guys!
It’s been a while, right? I was scrolling through my old entries and realized the last time I wrote here was when I was just about to start my new job. And now, as I’m typing this, I’m already approaching my 6th month. Crazy… really crazy. Time moves so fast, and honestly, I didn’t even notice how far I’ve come until I paused and reflected like this.
To be completely honest, I still can’t believe I’ve managed to stay and keep going in such a fast-paced environment. There were so many moments where I doubted myself, where I felt like I wasn’t good enough, or that maybe I couldn’t keep up. But somehow, I’m still here — showing up every day, doing my best, and learning along the way.
Nevertheless, Alhamdulillah. All praise to Allah for giving me the strength, the patience, and the resilience to go through it all. I know I wouldn’t have made it this far without His guidance.
These past almost six months have been nothing short of a rollercoaster. There were good days that made me feel proud and motivated, and there were also tough days that drained me mentally and emotionally. Some experiences just pass by like a breeze — I barely remember them now. But some… they stay. They linger quietly at the back of my mind, revisiting me when I least expect it.
I guess that’s the thing about past trauma — it doesn’t just disappear. Sometimes it follows you into new chapters of your life, showing up in your fears, your doubts, and the way you see yourself. And even when you try to move forward, there are moments where it pulls you back, even just for a little while.
But I’m learning. Slowly, but surely. I’m learning that healing is not a straight path. I’m learning to be kinder to myself, to accept that it’s okay to have bad days, and that it’s okay to not have everything figured out yet.
And maybe… just maybe, staying this long is already a small victory for me.
