Hey… it feels like it’s been forever since I last posted anything here. It really has been a while, huh? So here’s a quick life update — I got a new job! A fun one. Okay, maybe not fun fun, but still fun enough for someone neurodivergent like me.
It’s been a month since I started, and honestly, I’ve learned so much. I’m still adapting though. Before this, I used to freak out about being late — I used to arrive at office 1 hour earlier than my actual working hour (bro— my working hour starts at 9am. T^T But right now, as I’m typing this, it’s 8.58am, and I’m literally on the LRT with my bestie, on the way to the office. Hshshs. It's not that bad actually~
The best part is, I’m slowly learning to manage my anxiety and ADHD. Can’t wait for payday — I really want to go for a proper diagnosis soon. The work here can be fast-paced, and I can be a bit slow at picking things up. It’s not that people have to repeat stuff for me, it’s just… sometimes when someone tells me something at 12pm, it only clicks at 8pm Or the next day. :')
But I’m so grateful for my amazing coworkers. D, Z, T and S. Seriously, they’re the best. They’ve taught me so much — not just about work, but about how to work in team (not that nasyid group InTeam la), social stuff, and just… how to function better as a human being, I guess??? Ahhhh I’m so blessed. Alhamdulillah.
Still, even with all the improvements I’ve made, there are many things I’m still struggling with. I still scared to ask questions, to make decisions when people are waiting on me, and to speak up in case I say something wrong. I take feedback way too seriously (ugh, F my hypersensitive self). And yeah… I still throw up whenever I get too anxious or stressed. Only God knows how many times I’ve cried in the toilet because of it. It's painful tho. Seriously~
But something beautiful happened too — I’ve gotten to explore myself deeper. I just realized I’m a very structured person. Even though I’m neurodivergent, I can’t handle it when my routine gets messy. I’d rather go through the hard way as long as everything falls into place perfectly. And I have my own way to solve things. When I said own way, the way can be ridiculous sometimes. hshshs
So yeah... happy one-month work anniversary to me! Here’s to improving day by day. With commissions coming in, maybe I can even start saving for my wedding next year (inspired by my team leader, her 2-month commission could literally cover a wedding hall for 250 guests! Craaaazyyyy!!!)
That’s all for now, I guess. Happy weekend, and goodbye October. <3
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